I was strapping Olivia into her carseat when she exclaimed. “You’re old! Your hair is gray. You should color it!” Her parents tried to shush her, telling her she wasn’t being nice. It astonished me that not yet seven years old, Olivia had already internalized society’s prejudice that to be old is not a good thing and gray hair is to be camouflaged.
I’m letting mine go gray. I want to see what I look like with it. Martin is not a fan. If I don’t like it, I can always color it again. I’ll never stop working on the inside, but for now I want to see the true outside.
After catching my breath, I told Olivia that old is not a bad thing and that these are my wisdom ribbons. In this game of life, I’ve won each one of them fair and square. I know my words went over her silky brown mane. Too abstract. But we could do with a bit more elder respect. Or at least buff away reflexive dismissal.
Next trip to my stylist I might even have her wave in a few glimmer strands. It’s kind of like tinsel for hair. Stay tuned.
Love “wisdom ribbons.” That should be a universal term.
I would love that. Use it! Pass it along…
Loved Olivia’s comment, what insight for such a young child. I love you with gray, streaked or brown hair🥰🥰
🙂 Thank you, Clare. We have options, which is the best.
Tinseled hair. I’ve a head full of it.
Thanks, Debra. I can always depend on you to defend the natural and true.
I think colored hair can be true, too. It’s such a personal decision.
Society is so accustomed to weighing in on these matters.
Oh, my, I love this, and it hit me where I live because I am battling the decision, inner and outer, to let my own hair go gray. I am thinking it’s time. But wait. It is not easy because having red hair (natural or not) ties me to my Scottish grandmother, great aunt, a long list of beloved cousins, my whole Celtic culture. These are my roots, pardon the pun … Other people tell me that my red hair is my “signature” and that makes it twice as hard to let it go. I do love and admire gray hair on other women. I love the freedom, the realness, the glory of gray and aging, and all that gray hair represents. But still, I’m conflicted.
Love the photo of you here, Debra1
Hi Cindy,
It is so very sweet that having red hair is your link to your Grandmother and
all the matriarchs of your family. I wear Revlon’s #440 lipstick Cherries in the snow.
It was my grandmother’s shade. There is indeed a beautiful connection we have
with our beloved foremothers.
Gray hair is a badge of honor. I always said I earned every one of mine!
😘😘
We do indeed!
Debra, I just LOVE what this commentary on what is a normal process of aging. And I adore the terms “wisdom streaks” and “glimmer strands.” Certainly makes me think twice, as I color my hair once a month, and my mom (bless her heart) still colors her hair at 96. Yes, the voices that are in our heads! Can we be beautiful women with grey hair? ” Of course,” says my rational mind. “Not so sure,” says my ego. Oh the deep seated beliefs that sit within. Definitely food for thought.
I think whatever way we go is the way we go. I may color it back once I see where
things stand. It’s a personal decision. We can be beautiful with grey hair, our
original color or something else. My daughter just shaved her head and it is
very very short. She looks gorgeous. We have choices and that’s the best.
The only “fan” that matters is you.
It has upset me for years that women play this game of hiding their age, although for most of us, it shows in other ways. My 23-yr-old daughter already tells me all the ways she is going to avoid looking older–like Botox–in response to my lack of doing so. I struggle some with how I look at 60, regretting that I didn’t exercise more, etc., but I am not going to deny who I am.
If more women let their hair go gray, accepted their wrinkles (mine bother me way more than any gray hair), we would be able to see the true beauty in our age and wisdom streaks.
When I was 12, my mother gave me a book about beauty and make-up. The inscription read,
“Even Cleoptra used a little kohl.” I’ve often thought about what a society of blind people
would be like. Would there be a hierarchy according the the
beauty of one’s voice? Looks couldn’t matter at all, could they?
I do think gray hair is gaining in acceptance, or at least it’s more visible. And I’ve noticed
some young women washing their hair with temporary grey shades. When I begin to go down that
path of non-acceptance, I remind myself to be grateful I’m in one piece and breathing.Lots of food for thought.